This blog is still being updated at

I’ve switched tumblrs

International Object has always been a secondary blog under my personal one. This has been annoying for many reasons, but mainly that if I follow a new blog, they have no idea about International Object, since secondary blogs can’t actually follow on Tumblr. For the last year or so, I’ve been regretting mushing both my wrestling and personal stuff together so much, and this is an attempt to keep them in different houses.

Anyways, people with bookmarks and subscriptions to don’t have to change a thing. But if you’d like to follow the new blog on Tumblr, check it out at

This blog won’t be going anywhere. You’ll still be able to check the archives, and I won’t change the permalink to -old or something like that.

See you later at the new address.

The War Begins

The first episode of the WWE Network’s “Monday Night War” is in many ways an update to the DVD released in 2003 under the same name. That isn’t necessarily a compliment: that DVD is abysmal.

Within 20 minutes, “history” bowls over the entire 80s and early 90s tension between McMahon and Turner, and is far too complimentary to early Raw episodes. Vince’s interviews are new, but Bischoff’s are from 2003 and Turner’s from 1998. History is written by the winners and all that, but it doesn’t even look like they’re trying to make it look fair.

Back in the WWE 24/7 days, there was a show called Monday Night War, and it was essentially one week’s worth of Raw and Nitro: largely unedited episodes lightly curated by Michael Cole. I’m surprised these haven’t yet appeared on the Network, but more surprised they’re going with the “documentary” approach.

My thoughts are that unedited versions of Raw and Nitro will eventually (and slowly) appear on the Network, and this show will be more in the vein of Countdown and Wrestlemania Rewind, two shows I appreciate due mainly to low expectations. I expected more here.

David Arquette on the 'Big Gold Belt' |

WWE.COM: It looks as though the “Big Gold Belt” might be no more. How does that make you feel?

DAVID ARQUETTE: Wow. No. Wait. Why? WWE.COM: It’s been replaced by the new WWE World Heavyweight Title.

ARQUETTE: Whoa. Hold on. Wait a second. Okay.

WWE.COM: You’re reacting very strongly.

It only gets better.

Journey to Summerslam

Witness the journeys of Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns - from their humble beginnings to the biggest event of the summer!

They did this with Daniel Bryan for Wrestlemania, and it’s just as good here for The Shield. As is often the case, I feel far more for the characters now after seeing them be just people for a little bit.

Teary-Eyed Wrestlers Bid Farewell To Friends Made At SummerSlam

LOS ANGELES— Promising that the memories and new friendships made at this year’s pay-per-view event would stay with them forever, the professional wrestlers of the WWE exchanged tearful goodbyes Sunday as SummerSlam 2014 drew to a close. “Oh my God, I’m gonna miss you so much, Randy,” said former heavyweight champion John Cena to Randy “The Viper” Orton as the two hugged outside the Staples Center. “I wish it was next summer already. You’ll email me, right? Maybe you can come visit over Christmas if you want.” WWE sources confirmed that this was the best SummerSlam ever and that SummerSlam friends are friends for life.

When you’re Summerslam pals, you’re Summerslam pals 4-life.

Where was The Champ’s rally? The Five Knuckle Shuffle? That knowing grin he loves to throw the WWE Universe as if to say, “Yeah, I got this one”? They weren’t on display at the STAPLES Center. The only thing that was there was a monster with a black heart and two championship titles in his death grip.

For much of the match, the voice of a lone child could be heard chanting, “Let’s go, Cena!” By the time Brock Lesnar’s hand was raised in victory, the kid had fallen silent. Dreams had been dashed. Hopes had been crushed. And a Beast had become king.

WWE unveils new logo

WWE today announced it has officially changed its corporate logo to convey a more contemporary, bold and powerful image while maintaining the iconic “W,” which has been a part of the company’s long-storied history. The logo, originally designed for WWE Network, will become the beacon of sports-entertainment and will represent the brand as it continues to bring together a passionate, diverse and global fanbase with a unique blend of live action, excitement and drama.

I called this years ago, all the way back in 2011 (holy crap this blog has been running a long time. It probably doesn’t seem like it because I moved it around every two months).

I was cold about it at first, but after speaking to the designer, John Lefteratos, I’ve come to like the logo. Branding changes like this always spark debate and fervour amongst long-time fans (the winged-eagle title issue is likely the strongest). But the more I see this logo, the more I dig it. That’s a good sign.

A brief review of every single John Cena title victory

This is totally not my thing. Anyways, here’s a listicle.

When John Cena first arrived in the championship scene, it all seemed so boilerplate. WWE was confident in two of its newer superstars in Cena and Batista, and for the first time ever wanted to crown two new franchise players at Wrestlemania, because Wrestlemania is where things like crowning new franchises should happen. There wasn’t the usual droppings of criticism for WWE going back to a well-trod story after two years of doing something similar (crowning Lesnar at XIX, and Benoit at XX), but if anything, it was predictable. Cena and Batista were both going to win at Wrestlemania, and go on to be the focus of the show for at least the next six months.

Nearly ten years later, John Cena is still winning and defending the WWE Championship. Batista has quit twice, and the title he won no longer exists. JBL has retired (twice). HHH is no longer an active competitor, though he’ll occasionally perform. Shawn Michaels has retired. In fact, of all of John Cena’s Wrestlemania opponents, only Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt are on the active roster. This is both a testament to Cena’s lasting brand value, but also the calibre of opponents WWE has deemed worthy of performing with him at Wrestlemania. The Rock came out of retirement to wrestle John Cena, after all.

Whatever you may think of John Cena, his list of accomplishments is staggering and his passion for WWE and its fans is unquestionable. Still, criticisms are warranted, and often controversial. This list hopes to fortify the argument on both sides. Turns out, there’s something in each match for both the ‘Let’s go Cena’ and ‘Cena sucks’ crowds.

John Cena def. JBL, Wrestlemania 21

It was impossible to know by watching Wrestlemania 21 just how big John Cena would become. His title win occurs earlier in the show than Batista’s, the match is given less time, and his opponent is simply not the caliber of a HHH. JBL had held the title since defeating Eddie Guerrero the previous summer, but it was a sorely predictable affair. Still. The crowd loved the outcome, and welcomed John to the upper echelon.

Let’s go Cena: His first title win is historic simply because it happened at Wrestlemania. It began the Cena era, and laid a solid foundation for a guy who’s easy to like and easy to cheer for. He looks like a champion here, and the debut of his new theme song was a nice character-growing moment. It’s as much a coming-out party as a wrestling match. Cena has arrived.

Cena sucks: His first title win is so emblematic of his main event status: effortless. He barely sweats JBL, who comes across like he’s 50 years too old to be there. The match barely registers on any scale of tempo or quality, and is perhaps the worst Wrestlemania WWE Championship match of the modern era. The fact is, their “A few good men” video was better than their match.

John Cena def. Edge, Royal Rumble 2006

Make no mistake, John Cena’s dominance has defined the modern era. But another WWE mainstay débuted at Wrestlemania 21: Money in the Bank. The two have been linked somce the beginning, and intertwine. Winning Money in the Bank more often than not means disrupting a John Cena title reign. That briefcase is like The Heenan Family to Hulk Hogan: every few months, a new challenger appears.

John Cena’s first championship reign came to an end because of Money in the Bank, when Edge cashed in. He won it back the very next match.

Let’s go Cena: First off, what an entrance. When you think of elaborate Cena entrances, you think of Wrestlemania, but go back and watch Cena’s entrance at the 2006 Royal Rumble. You’ll be both blown away by the technical feat, and disappointed that they never do this kind of thing anymore. Secondly, this is arguably Cena’s first great match, one that solidifies him as top-tier talent deserving of his prestige.

Cena sucks: What a disappointing end to what could have been a great story. Edge stealing the WWE Championship from Cena should have been the beginning of a months-long story culminating at Wrestlemania, not resolved within a few weeks. This is the first of several instances in Cena’s career where he could have been a much better foil for a villain than he was, and it’s the first time you can be truly disappointed by a Cena victory.

John Cena def. Edge, Unforgiven 2006

Cena’s third championship victory has him defeating the same man (a pattern we’ll see repeated later) in one of  the best matches of the year. Cena defeated Edge in his hometown of Toronto, in a match Edge helped make famous―TLC.

Let’s Go Cena: Cena holds up his end lf the match, and his reputation as a big match performer escalates. This is a big moment for Cena, as this title win feels truly earned and hard fought. Even Cena’s critics point to this match as a high time in his career.

Cena sucks: Edge débuted the Rated R version of the title only weeks before this match. He was still an on fire villain with tons of heat, and while this was a thrilling conclusion to what is essentially an eight-month story, it still feels like it could have gone on until Wrestlemania. Having said that, none of the criticisms about this story have anything to do wit he match or even Cena himself, but rather the idea that Cena would essentially be done with Edge―arguably his best dancing partner―after this.

John Cena def. Jericho, Survivor Series 2008

John Cena had been injured for several months, and this was his return contest. There wasn’t much of a feud here really, but the real story is how WWE viewed Jericho at  the hottest time of his career. Coming off the incredible story with Shawn Michaels, Jericho was the company’s biggest villain. Here, he’s the doormat for a returning John Cena.

Let’s Go Cena: love him or hate him, you have to respect his ability to bounce back from injuries as a superhuman rate. This was the second time Cena returned months ahead of schedule, and his performance isn’t hurt by the time away. This is a solid match, if not exactly a classic. And it is a legitimately touching moment of redemption when Cena wins, proving he can still hang with the best in the world at what he does.

Cena sucks: Jericho deserved a real feud with Cena. Once again, this match could have been the beginning of a larger story, but is instead just left here as a footnote in both men’s careers, better left forgotten. It’s not even Cena’s best world title win coming back from injury in the fall, of which he has three(!)

John Cena def. Big Show & Edge, Wrestlemania 25

Cena’s rivalry with Edge is renewed here, this time bringing Bog Show into it so that we can see Cena be incredibly strong. If this match is remembered for anything, it’s Cena hitting the AA on both of them at the same time, which is the kind of incredible athleticism wrestling fans simply can’t even digest.

Let’s Go Cena: This is Cena’s first title win at Wrestlemania in four years, and it really does feel like a return to form. Although the match doesn’t close then show, Cena is still very much The Man with capitals, and is basically untouchable. If you love Cena, you love moments like this, where he overcomes great odds with unbelievable strength and fortitude.

Cena Sucks: There aren’t many complaints to be made here. Shouldn’t the good guy win at Wrestlemania? Cena would go on to lose to both men in the coming months, and even if they were lower profile matches, they still happened. Edge still technically “won” the feud. Still, Cena critics began to feel distaste for Cena in full force here, wondering aloud if this was the future of WWE: John Cena overcoming the odds, forever.

John Cena def. Orton in an I Quit match, Breaking Point 2009, and in an Iron Man Match, Bragging Rights

I’m lumping these in as one thing because Cena and Orton traded the WWE Championship back and fort so often that fall it’s basically impossible to tell the matches apart. I like to think of it as one three hour match with Cena beating Orton with 36 Attitude Adjustments in a row.

Let’s Go Cena: Randy Orton was perhaps at the top of his game in late 2009, having taken all this is unlikeable about him and focusing on only those qualities. John Cena was exactly the same John Cena as he ever was, but these matches showed him getting creative and sadistic. Each match in the series showed John trying new ways to keep Orton down, and eventually he did, because Cena will always win.

Cena sucks: If you watch the Bragging Rights ironman match and all you can take away is the exhausting overuse of finishing moves, you may just be an adult wrestling fan. John Cena may be a big-match performer, but his moveset is just too limited for 60 minute matches. It was better masked in the I Quit match at Breaking Point because he could use props, but the ironman is just a poor outing for John.

John Cena def. Sheamus, HHH, Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, and Kofi Kingston, Elimination Chamber 2010

Cena had lost the title to (at the time) rookie Sheamus, and this was more or less Cena winning it back. We all sort of assumed Sheamus wasn’t taking the title to Wrestlemania, and the Elimination Chamber was a great place to have him lose without completely burying him. This was technically the first EC match in the PG era, so it felt comparatively less brutal, and Cena winning far more of a foregone conclusion.

Let’s Go Cena: the match itself is nothing great, but you have to feel for Cena afterward. In a moment reflective of the first Money in the Bank cash-in, Vince McMahon appears with a new challenger, this time in Batista. Although he has no logical reason for doing so, McMahon forces a match between then two, and Cena is flattened, losing the title minutes after winning it.

Cena sucks: I get it, Cena pretty much has to win here for the Batista attack to be effective. This is the thing about criticizing Cena: you can’t pinpoint exactly where his fault lies, and where his hand is in the machine, but he always ends up getting the best hand. Cena only wins here so he can lose, so he can win at Wrestlemania. That’s not his fault. He’s not the one writing his role, like Hogan did in WCW, or even HHH during his reign of terror. But the feeling is there, that no matter how he’s defeated and humiliated, Cena’s going to come out of this looking like roses.

John Cena def. Batista, Wrestlemania 26

John Cena may have won the world heavyweight title the hear before, but even in the days of two world titles, the WWE Championship still mostly held top billing. It was John’s title from the moment he won it in 2005 to today, and this is one of his most celebratory victories. The story with Batista was well-told, and John’s place as the hero was firmly in place.

Let’s go Cena: This is Cena’s best Wrestlemania match, and it’s considered quite underrated (and heavily overshadowed). Despite only wrestling a handful of times, Cena and Batista have genuine chemistry and can deliver an event deserving of headlining Wrestlemania. And Cena deserves to win after being screwed out of the title at Elimination Chamber the month before.

Cena sucks: Few argue the quality of the match, but it have been more predictable? Cena had earned the “super” suffix long before this point, but Cena earned it here, never really sweating Batista (especially in the following two reaches). This match also continued the trend of Cena overusing his finishing moves to the point where the first one will never finish the match, and the “last” attitude adjustment is always anticlimactic.

John Cena def. Miz & Morrison, Extreme Rules 2011

2011 featured something wholly unique: Cena lost the Wrestlemania main event to The Miz, a guy who few would consider top shelf. Cena losing to B+ players wouldn’t last, however, as he dispatched Miz only a month later in this triple threat.

Let’s Go Cena: Cena fans must have been crushed at Wrestlemania 27, so this match is a sort of apology, and a fortification that Cena is still a very big deal indeed. It’s also a cage match, which is always a good time.

Cena sucks: Consider this match the first in a series of him winning for basically no reason. Just because Cena can make little work of Miz & Morrison doesn’t means he has to. Miz could have kept the belt a little longer. He could have tried to make something more out of the story. But then again, Cena didn’t have to beat Ray Mysterio in the summer and Del Rio in the fall, but he does. This is the worst John Cena burial job since his match with The Nexus in 2010, but the honor won’t last very long.

John Cena def. Rey Mysterio, Raw 5 July 2011

When CM Punk defeated Cena for the WWE Championship and ran off into the cool Chicago night, WWE needed to crown a new champion. They held a tournament, and Rey Mysterio won. This was really cool, because this was Mysterio’s first (and only) WWE Championship. He had a champagne ceremony in the back, and all the other wrestlers celebrated with him. It was a great moment. Then HHH decided Ray had to fight John Cena the same night for the title.

Let’s Go Cena: It’s a really great match, and it’s full of emotion and we’ll never see it again.

Cena sucks: This is it. Fifteen championship wins, and this is the worst one. Cena has played the fence between good guy and bad before (One Night Stand 2006 comes to mind), but even accepting this match makes Cena the biggest asshole in the world. Who agrees to fight Rey Mysterio, an inspirational underdog for the ages, the very night he wins the biggest prize in this great art?

The worst part is, it doesn’t even make a difference. Cena would lose the title in a few weeks at Summerlsam. He could have avoided this entirely, and we could have had Punk vs Mysterio instead. Del Rio could still cash in, and absolutely nothing would be different. Somewhere, even Hulk Hogan watched this match and said “That’s cold, brother.”

John Cena def. Alberto Del Rio, Night of Champions 2011

At Summerslam 2011, Cena lost the title (that he stole from Rey Mysterio) to CM Punk fair and square. Del Rio cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase after Punk is attacked by Kevin Nash right after Cena’s loss. Therefore, Cena gets to fight Del Rio.

Let’s go Cena: Sure, it’s been a few weeks since Cena won the championship. Why not do it again? That’ll sell some shirts.

Cena Sucks:  Sorry, I don’t mean to be cynical, but it’s difficult to come up with anything for this one. It’s not quite as bad as when he beat Mysterio, because at least Del Rio didn’t win the title earlier in the evening, but it’s not great, either. Think about what it did to Del Rio’s career arc as well. Here’s a villain who believes its his destiny to be on top of the wrestling world. He finally wins the most prestigious title, and then loses it in his very first defence. That he wins it back weeks later makes this match even more pointless. Removing Cena’s title wins not only simplifies the lineage (5 title changes instead of 9), but also doesn’t change a thing. Cena may have been dominant in 2011, but he also didn’t matter.

John Cena def. The Rock, Wrestlemania 29

One year after The Rock defeated Cena at Wrestlemania, Cena gets a chance at redemption, this time with the title on the line.

Let’s Go Cena: If you only watch Wrestlemania’s, Cena’s “worst year ever” story of redemption makes a lot of sense. They did everything they could to make this match seem epic, and it was a real finale in an industry known for never really delivering an ending.

Cena sucks: If you actually watched Cena’s supposed “worst year ever” his redemption doesn’t make any sense. As for the match, it was the lesser of their two bouts, and neither were particularly memorable. If there was ever a match for Cena to debut a new finishing move, this was it. Instead, Cena and Rock just trade one move a piece for the last ten minutes until one finally sticks.

John Cena def. Alberto Del Rio, Hell in a Cell 2013

John Cena once again returns sooner than expected, and is slotted into a World Heavyweight Championship match against Alberto Del Rio. Fourteen guesses as to what happens.

Let’s Go Cena: There is something legitimately inspirational about how quickly John Cena can go from surgery to winning titles. There’s a strong lesson there about focus, passion, and drive. John Cena is more dedicated to being in that ring than almost anyone else, and if you want to, you can be that dedicated, too. He’s a hero, truly.

Cena Sucks: But does he have to always make his opponents look like they’re just keeping belts warm until he wants them? What even is there to say? I’m surprised John Cena even wants titles at this stage of his career. We get it: he can beat everybody, any time he wants, even with one arm hanging off the bone.

John Cena def. Kane, Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Bray Wyatt, and Cesaro, Money in the Bank 2014

Daniel Bryan unfortunately had to acquiesce his WWE World Heavyweight Championship due to injury, and the title was put up for grabs at the next big event: Money in the Bank. Being that John Cena was one of them, the result became more or less a given.

Let’s Go Cena: Cena is the default. If you have to pick one guy in WWE to be champion, it’s going to be him. WWE had a plan, and unfortunately Bryan’s injuries forced them to rewrite the story, so they’re going back to what they know works. The fact is, Cena is just that dependable. This is technically John Cena’s first WWE World Heavyweight Championship, and his 15th (and 16th, if you count them as two separate titles). That’s huge! Congratulations John!

Cena sucks: Look, Cena was the best option in a bad situation. This may turn out to be just another title win where he loses it right away (this time to Brock Lesnar), or it might not. Of course, knowing that doesn’t make yet another Cena title win any easier to watch. Nor does knowing that Cena probably has untold number of title wins in his career. He’s going to lap Ric Flair’s record. He might actually come close to Jerry Lawler.

The fact is, titles wins only matter if you actually imbue them with meaning. If any (or all) of Cena’s title victories have inspired you, helped you through a tough time, or in any way improved your life, that’s great. It can be a really wonderful moment when a piece of fiction can move a person to feel and do better. And if his accomplishments have somehow negatively affected you, well, that’s understandable too. If fiction can help, it can also hurt. And that’s ultimately Cena’s message as a character: this is who he is, and so long as you react strongly, he wins.

I have no idea why, but Summerslam always leaves me flat. They’re often great shows, and the last two were highlights of each year. But I never actually look forward to them.