International Object

Pro wrestling is almost like a lot of things. Pro wrestling is almost like real sports due to the athletic and alpha-personality types that go along with both. Pro wrestling is almost like interpretive dance–like mime or ballet–due to its usage of physical movement in communicating story. Pro wrestling is almost a fantasy realm of super heroes and villains, due to an abundance of two dimensional and over-the-top caricatures. But pro wrestling isn’t any of these things because there are three very hard-line roadblocks in their way.

Pro wrestling can’t be a sport because it is orchestrated, it can’t be high-minded theatre because it consistently slums in low-culture, and it can’t be fantasy because it takes so much of its drama from real life (and real life has a way of affecting it in unexpected ways¹). One might say that pro wrestling really only finds parallel with one other facet of popular culture, and this one, while it might not be a flattering comparison at first, is probably the most apt.

Comparing pro wrestling to pornography is an easy argument that only gets easier as the evidence piles up. On the most basic level, each industry produces a product revolving around performances of physical exertion. Each scene (or match) is scripted beforehand (usually leaving a little room for improvisation) occurs for a formulaic amount of time, requires a series of positions and maneuvers, and involves participants becoming exhausted over time. The rules are generally known, but breaking those rules rarely results in a predictable consequence. Sometimes there is outside interference. Sometimes things go wrong. But ultimately, the scene (or match) ends in a climatic moment.

Just as nobody watching a porn for the story, wrestling fans rarely turn in to watch the plot.² Because of this, writers for both pornography and wrestling spend as little time as possible fine-tuning story elements, because they are aware just how capable fans are of tuning them out (or fast-forwarding right through). Stories in both porn and wrestling are used mostly to deliver basic context for the scene. This is actually a fairly recent trend in both industries. Up until the mid-90s, it was easy to find an entire wrestling show on tv filled with “exhibition” matches (i.e., they were happening for no discernible reason). It was also quite easy to come across completely context-free (though often scrambled) sex scenes. Partly due to the afterthought writing, both industries have been crippled with the stigma of being incapable of delivering a captivating plot.³

Both industries are focused on delivering assistance to basic human functions. While most television (and live events) are focused on entertainment, porn and wrestling have other emotions in mind. The pornography industry is helping release sexual tension, while wrestling releases violent tension. The release of sexual tension is much easier to describe, as well as illustrate. With wrestling, the release of catharsis is much more difficult to calculate. One generally watches wrestling to watch intense bouts of physical violence, and one does so largely to “let off some steam.” This is a reason people watch sports, too, but with wrestling the feeling of catharsis is focused because wrestling is all about physical violence (as opposed to watching a hockey game where only 3-4 minutes are spent watching a fight). I used to be surprised how many wrestling fans found watching theraputic, but it all makes sense. Much in the same way Rome was capable of satiating dissent in its citizens by offering up colosseum contents on a daily basis, wrestling leaves the crowd calm and satisfied that justice has won the day.⁴

Both pornography and professional wrestling have staggeringly impressive production schedules that allow them to pump out many hours of product every week. While porn produces far, far more product than wrestling, they’re both well and above any regular television show. Even a second-rate program like TNA (and, of course, we can’t get away from the fact that a major wrestling company is named TNA) can get away with charging their fans to watch the climax episode in their monthly series and then have the gall to release the same program two months later on DVD (or on iTunes for considerably less money). Consider being a fan of TNA Impact and being a fan of the hit show Lost. Say you watch every episode each show produces in a year, plus all the specials (and reruns). At minimum, you will spend twice as much time in front of the television watching TNA. Now, factor in Pay Per View purchases. Sure, it costs about $75 to own a season of Lost on DVD, but TNA charges $30 per month to watch their “big” shows. Now, take a quick gander at any pay on demand porn website and see which business arrangement it looks like more. Both businesses have far more footage that is produced for far less money, and yet they still charge their customers far more than regular TV producers.⁵

Speaking of casts, don’t wrestlers and porn stars look an awful lot like one another? Pro wrestling’s presentation is largely about exaggeration, and the physical appearance of wrestlers usually accentuates their body parts. Men have massive chests and arms, shaved legs, and out-of-touch haircuts. Women for the most part have massive chests (sometimes fake), toned arms and legs, exaggerated makeup, and colourful clothing. Both sexes wear next to nothing while performing, and both have a strange relationship with HD televisions.

The most important comparison is in fact the very reason neither industry’s product is classified as art. Both professional wrestling and pornography are looked down by mainstream society as being “deviant” forms of entertainment, as in, they are not good for you. Let’s go over the reasons why that is.

Professional wrestling promotes the idea that violence solves all your problems⁶ and that being a two dimensional idiot with muscles will net you girls, money, and fame.⁷ Characters with traits such as intelligence and common sense are often portrayed as villains, bulldozed over by heroes using only gut determination and single-minded ideals of justice. Everyone is always lusting after prizes just as easily lost as won, and nobody ever seems to retire when they say they will. None of this makes any sense.

On the flip side, all porn really does is portray a fantasy world where all anyone ever does is fuck all the time (and get really stressed out by work that they never seem to be doing in their incredibly luxurious offices). Women are seen as generally horny objects and men are seen as walking hard-ons who can juggle multiple partners and never fail to orgasm within 8-12 minutes. Nobody seems to ever get any diseases and society has exiled everyone under the age of 18 and over the age of 30. Hugh Heffner rules the world with an iron fist and nobody ever gets murdered or sick or raped (because everyone always wants it, all the time.)

Now, these two “worlds” that are looked down on by mainstream society for reasons that all fairly sound. While the odd fantasy is a good thing (such as believing the Toronto Maple Leafs might someday win a Stanley Cup), some fantasies are so out of whack that they threaten to manipulate one’s actions in the real world. Most complaints about porn and wrestling deal with how seductive these worlds are, and how impression can lead to action. Watching porn can lead to a reduced respect of women. Worse, watching too much porn might make you actually treat women badly. Watching wrestling can lead to thinking that violence is a viable option to dealing with problems in the real world. Worse, watching too much wrestling might lead to you jumping off your roof onto your equally stupid friend. I’m not trying to disprove these claims. There have been completely awful instances of both these things happening. What I am going to suggest is that an art form shouldn’t be completely discounted simply because idiots tried it for themselves and failed.

Being a good wrestler and being a good porn star take talents, and trying these things at home or in public is usually going to end up in embarrassment, pain, arrest, and in rare and unfortunate cases death (yes, all four from both industries).⁸ I’m also not going to try to define art, because I believe one of the things that makes art fun and interesting and beneficial to society is how many forms it can take. Having said that, it’s difficult not to find that porn and wrestling have both been given the cold shoulder by society. Many kinds of art are considered deviant (graffiti being the most obvious example) but there just aren’t that many groups out there fighting for the artistic legitimacy of either industries.

There is the argument, of course, that wrestling and porn can’t be art because they would be terrible examples of human expression. All porn stars and wrestlers ever do is fuck and fight and collect paychecks until their bodies get used up or they die. This description is apt, but in no way does that make them bad people. In fact, the whole thing is pretty noble, if you ask me.

Here it goes, my big sell on why both industries should be considered art: no two groups of people in history have done a better job at capturing the wells of simplistic human emotion. No painter, architect, writer, musician, or any other type of “legitimate” artist has ever shown the building blocks of human behaviour in a way that speaks to the audience of its time better than any professional porn star or professional wrestler. Say what you will about the ethics of the business and how dead inside these people might be, when people watch their performances, people react, and more importantly they react in fascinating ways. Not everyone is jerking off to porn, and not everyone is releasing their violent tendencies to wrestling. Some people want this stuff banned from society. Some people want to study them in school. Some people just want to watch them because it’s more entertaining, pound for pound, than anything else on TV. Some people want it to evolve or devolve. Some people want to participate one day but never will. Some people never want to do it and one way or another find themselves part of the show. Some people write books about them, hoping that a discussion might bloom.

To summarize, it’s impossible to completely dismiss these things because there are inherent complications, and these complications are artistically fascinating. The kind of questions we face when we uncover porn or wrestling are the same kinds of questions being asked of real art. There are too many people writing about porn and wrestling in artistic contexts, unpacking deep meanings about performances, trends, details, and participant behaviour. We’re not all crazy. There’s something here.

From WWE.com:

During Jericho’s match with the WWE Champion at São Paulo’s Ginásio do Ibirapuera, the flag found its way into the ring, where Jericho crumpled it up and then kicked it…. Suspended indefinitely, Jericho responded to the incident in his own words.

Doug Willcocks:

While the comparison is crude and outrageous if not crass and careless—of course neither John Cena the person nor the wrestling character is in any way sympathetic to a genocidal totalitarian—a pivotal aspect of the muscular culture that abetted 20th century state fascism was its separation of charismatic authority from morality through this very process of might proving might, unencumbered by right. Encouragingly, a large portion of the wrestling audience continues to reject this amoral cultural shift. So go ahead, as long as he remains an unrepentant amoral fascist, chant “Cena Sucks” with pride.

Doug’s argument is that John Cena exudes fascist tendencies because he is right and true regardless of context, and he generally comes out on top (though, really, in 2012 he’s 2 for 5 on ppv) regardless of whether that’s the right thing to do in the story. This makes him a superhero, or super-something, and super-beings are inherently fascist (or at least, very powerful vigilantes). They belief in their own sense of right and wrong, and this doesn’t change based on circumstance (though, really, a well-written superhero does change with the times).

It’s convoluted, because he opens up a dialogue about fascism, superheroes, Hulk Hogan, and cultural tolerance without really unpacking any of it (but not every article about politics has to be a book, you know?). Willcocks makes a well-reasoned point about Cena’s might-equals-right motivations, though: what is Cena actually fighting for? If you look at the text they’ve presented us, John Cena is without “any moral position.” That might not matter to 8 year olds, but it’ll matter to them in a few years. They’ll have to wonder just what the hell they were cheering. 

You can buy this one-move match from Wrestlemania for only $3.49 in HD, immediately bringing to light the problem of separating PPVs by match on iTunes.

Brian Flinn:

All WWE television programming features only TV-PG content as rated not by us, but by the network TV distributors and their standards and practices departments. WWE weekly programming has always appeared on basic cable or broadcast television. As any casual television viewer knows, your description of our programming, based on the Federal Communications Commission rules alone, would not be permitted on broadcast television or basic cable.

They’re responding to journalist Joshua Fisher calling WWE “barely above pornography,” but he said it flippantly. He wasn’t even talking about WWE; he was talking about Linda McMahon.

Of course, there’s the argument to be made the pro wrestling is pornography, but that’s an argument for another time.

Dennis and Bryan are my two favourite psychopaths on TV.

I’m not surprised with this. For my money, Alex Shelley was one of the most gripping performers on the roster, but it’s been years since they utilized him in any meaningful way. Wherever he ends up, I’ll be paying attention.

More proof that Sting is Vince McMahon’s favourite wrestler.

Joey Lately has my favourite prediction this week:

And the final match is J-Lau vs Cena. If any superstar gets involved they’ll be terminated. Now the wording of the letter says any SUPERSTAR that gets involved and doesn’t say anything about Divas. It’s possible that Eve could get involved. Or, we could look at the possibility of Brock Lesnar getting involved because he quit so isn’t officially a superstar. But my OTL FTW pick is John Laurinaitis. I think Cena will get screwed over by… BATISTA!

The Brock and Dave broheimery can’t come soon enough.

Jason Mann is at his best looking through history with a specific and malicious perspective: Since he was afraid losing and being embarrassed by Daniel Bryan in January 2012, he …